Running out of patience

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We all know being a parent is a tough job… I knew that even before I got pregnant and it was a challenge I was ready and eager for. Of course, that was assuming I would have a husband sharing the duties and tasks with me.

Today, I started on my new job. Yay, right? Finally… a new job. It’s a promising new job. New and old people alike, nice bosses, nice clients, AND a morning schedule! which is rare in my industry/line of work.

So, I get home in the afternoon eager to take my sisters and my son out for a quick dinner and just chat. Talk about my new job.

My son — for the life of me… started throwing tantrums when we got in the restaurant.

He started whining asking for juice — which I ordered for him. When his food arrived he began with …”I’m  not hungry.. i don’t want to eat”. Which, mind you, I do not believe because he hasn’t had lunch either! Nobody at home could make him eat lunch when I was at work!

After trying to persuade him nicely (my sisters and I), I started losing my patience and stood up to talk to him straight and to the point. Told him that ifi he’s not going to eat, we’re going home.

Of course, I’m his mother and I know that the only reason he doesn’t want to eat is because he doesn’t feel like eating what was served to him. I didn’t want him to get used to always getting what he wanted- eating only what he wanted (i.e. fast food) because I was brought up the same way. We never had a choice of what to eat. My mother would always say, eat what’s served to you (in the context of, other kids don’t have ANYTHING at all so be thankful). And it’s true. Aside from the fact that it’s healthier than eating junk food, he has to eat what is served to him.

So there he was starting to whine and cry when I resorted to just ignoring him. His crying was not too loud then, and only me and my sisters were getting irritated by the crying. Too much for wanting to have a conversation and a nice dinner huh?

Then when he saw he was being ignored he started crying louder and banging his fist on the wall beside him. … can you spell T-A-N-T-R-U-M-S?

Yes. I believe that’s what it’s called.

Nobody. And I Mean NO ONE in my family threw tantrums before. Not even cousins. It just wasn’t tolerated and never, i guess, been a behavior of any of us.

I never believed it could be “hereditary” but lo and behold. These bad attitudes and behaviors my son’s been displaying were out of my line of patience.Something I’ve never experienced before — and mind you I’m the eldest in the family and I grew up very close to my cousins too — NEVER experienced this kind of behavior.

It’s tough being a parent. Me being a single parent — damn tougher and harder. How do I handle this? I tried talking to him calmly but he looks at me with those scary eyes and nostrils start flaring, fists start clenching and then the shouting.

It’s beyond me how a child this young can do this. Then I remembered my (ex) Mother in law’s stories about her son (aka ex-husband) doing the same things. And she shared these stories as if they were amusing.

It definitely is not and it definitely should have been something she corrected in him. That’s too late now. My son, however, isn’t. But how do I deal with this?

I’m stumped. tired. frustrated. God help!

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